my thoughts

sometimes I stop and think ..am I worth living at all?I been demoralised this year and 2011 has been a bad year for me I really hate it ... I hate myself more. I'm always been tossed aside like rubbish.im just not strong enough inside of me fuck it .. just what am I worth ? I can't even face myself at all.. each time I look at the mirror a reflection of a demon is being shown. Sometimes I wish to die but I can't do that because that will hurt my family if I did... I cannot bring a blow to my family lives ESP dad who been putting his effort for me. I know I can't give up my life now. This is life an unfair and cruel life it is and we can't run from it . i know I' can't change completely and fragments of my old self will be inside of me and people will not forget about it easily. this is how being disabled is. people look down on u and pity u . and people who are disabled must bear what people think and bear all criticism and insults from people. this is me a disabled person who is completly different from others . No matter how much u want to be like other humans u will still be the same. I feel useless like a battery being used up . A friend told me when there us darkness there will be always be light. but wheres my light ? I dun even see it anywhere. just what am I worth living for?

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